...Simple Steps to Successful Parenting
BEST PARENTING ADVICE
What To Do When Bad Stuff Happens: 2
When you pare everything back, you really only need shelter, food & water. If you can notice & appreciate the simple things of life: Love, family, friends& comfort you'll feel better. Over time you may even begin to question a consumer driven lifestyle, and learn to live happily with less.
1. Take some time to process what's happened. Do one thing, each day, to improve your situation.
I sat and thought about what options were available. Then I did the one thing that created the biggest immediate improvement in our financial situation for the least amount of time expended. It reduced the feeling of the wolf at my door.
For you that could be: ringing a family member for short term financial assistance, asking friends with businesses if they can employ you short-term (or part-time,) selling something to supply cash for food and necessities, following up job opportunities, lodging an intention to access welfare payments, etc
3. Then I did what would create the biggest improvement to our medium term-financial situation:
You could consider accessing some of your superannuation if you're really, really desperate (although this can have major long term repercussions and may affect sickness and death benefits for some.)
In our case we cashed in our kid's scholarships (worth $6000) which helped with our medical bills. Sometimes, you may have assets you've forgotten about, you can cash in. And we set up retraining for my husband, to return him to the workforce as soon as he had some independence.
Long term we chose education that would make both of us more marketable.
4. I filtered my experiences:
I was very careful to notice the good things in our life and feel genuine appreciation for them. I made much more of the simple things. And I increased the weighting of time on the things that enriched me.
And every day I made sure I set goals for myself and achieved them.
Teaching had always been my passion so I continued to learn and build my craft. Parenting was another passion so I tried to be the best at it I could be. And over time I succeeded at both.
I filtered the experiences I had, so that I could focus on every positive thing that came my way. And as a part of that, I reevaluated some of my relationships. I knew I didn't have the emotional energy to spare.
There are people in your life who have your back. And they're the people you need in your life right now. Seek out relationships with those who help build you, or see the best in you... Those who see your potential. Not where you are, but where you can be, with time and a plan. You can get through this... I know because I've done it (and there's nothing remarkable about me.)
When you feel like your life is spiraling out of control:
Know it's okay to grieve losing your 'old life'
Realize you can get through just about anything, one day at a time
Work out what will give you the greatest return for any time expended
Look for ways of eating more cheaply
Identify a plan to make the biggest difference to your medium term situation. This could involve retraining
Set daily goals and keep them
Seek out those that have been supportive of you in the past for assistance
Risk being told 'No'
Realize everything isn't perfect at the moment, but some income can assist in the short term. And upskilling can assist in the long term
Know all things are possible, with time and a plan
Dust off your dreams and think big.
2. I trialed repeating menus for the purchase of food that made the best use of my time and very limited money.
As I said previously, our food budget was between $40 and $70 a week for a family of four. And this went on for about six months, only being supplemented with fruit and vegetables others gave me.
Although I did have some non-perishable food in the pantry and the freezer at the outset which helped a bit.
Go to the link 'Managing Money in a Crisis' to learn the principles.
5. I also took many more risks. And I'm still willing to fail, as many times as it takes, to get something right. I really stretched myself.
It didn't matter if I couldn't do something, I gave it the best go I could. And even if I wasn't terrific at it, with time I got better.
Sometimes I really surprised myself with what I was capable of. And it'll be the same for you if you give it 100%. Give yourself permission to give 100%. If you don't have to be perfect, it'll change your life.
e.g. I've built this free website, with no technical knowledge because I truly believe if parents know the information on this site, the chances of their child having a successful life are greatly increased.
What is your dream to drive you...
For more Tips on Surviving a Crisis go to the following links:
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Best parenting takes time. The best parenting advice ever is simple: Do your best, don't give up and love your children, no matter what.