SELF CARE FOR PARENTS
Time & Sanity Savers
While I don't think I ever managed to achieve balance across all areas of my life at exactly the same time I probably managed to achieve a reasonable amount of it, so that most of our children's, and parent self care needs, were met.
Why go to the effort of trying to save time?
You can only spend time once
Planning supports balance in your life
You can prioritize what is most important (e.g. reading to your children) over what is urgent (e.g. phone call)
You can automate many routine activities (e.g. meal preparation)
You can free up time to achieve common goals
More free time can reduce stress levels
To begin, I worked out what was most important to all of us. Then I built the organization around that, to ensure that everyone, including me, was having their priorities met.
I realized planning self care activities, for both parents, is the key to ensure that we were both effective and happy.
If parents are experiencing low energy or motivation, interaction styles can be more reactive, or disengaged, rather than relaxed and in control. This impacts on family relationships.
And what I've observed over years has shown me, that families that have common goals, as well as working for the success of each individual within the family, have a greater chance of long-term success. We looked at increasing the importance of self care for us parents, ensuring our family worked together for the betterment of us all.
Something to consider:
Is it likely that if people within the family aren't having their needs met, they're more likely to start looking outside the family to find what they seek.
You see this with teenagers, who seek out those who are exciting and fun, rather than spend time with family who in comparison, are boring, expecting them to be responsible with homework, or with chores.
You'll also see it in the partner that has an affair, because home has become mundane, or stressful, and there's not enough in it for them to keep them loyal.
Some even become willing to jeopardize everything for some excitement.
I wonder... do you ever feel you're on a treadmill and no matter how hard you work, you feel guilty you can't get it all done. And do you think your partner may sometimes feel the same?
It's vital that as a couple, you look at the most important needs in your life, that you feel are non-negotiable, so that over the long term, you plan to have these needs met... And you have to make their attainment a priority.
That's basic self care for parents.
We can all cope with postponement for a while, or for the greater good. But when that's all there is and that's all there will be for the long-term, the seeds of self-sabotage and/or relationship sabotage have been sown.
Assuming you're a rational being, and not a martyr, how long would you continue remaining loyal to a family, when there's nothing in it for you?
I've seen time and time again, if there's nothing in it for them, parents can find themselves questioning their life choices.
But by planning ahead and prioritizing, you may be able to meet more of your wants and self care needs than you ever thought possible.
Some of the tabs below give insight into strategies that worked well to save my time and sanity. You can use them as is, or as a springboard for your own improved self care ideas. Or you may be interested in the mini-course: Making Family Life Easier
For great ideas on how to use your time effectively, free time up so you can use it for what you want go to the following links:
Best Parenting Advice.com is a high quality parenting website designed with child and family success in mind. It highlights what successful parents do differently to those who struggle. Best Parenting advice.com provides free online resources for busy parents who want the best practical advice on: how to give kids a best start in life, better tips for parenting toddlers, effective child rearing strategies, behaviour management tips, successful goal setting and organizational strategies for successful families, easy family dinner recipes, self-care tips for time-poor parents and free kids learning games. The aim of Best Parenting Advice.com is to provide quality practical parenting tips and advice to best help children and families succeed, using the convenience of a website.
This website provides examples of what worked for me over decades and you are welcome to use these ideas as you see fit but you do so at your own risk. Best Parenting Advice.com does not provide any guarantee that this information will work in every circumstance with every family or with every child. It is your responsibility as a user of this website to ensure that you adhere to any recommended safety suggestions either implicit or explicit on this site and supervise your children while playing any games suggested. Similarly users of this website are advised to follow any recommendations for seeking professional advice as all information on this site is generic. Best Parenting Advice.com is an independent website and is not affiliated with any other groups, clubs, religious organizations or educational systems.
Best parenting takes time. The best parenting advice ever is simple: Do your best, don't give up and love your children, no matter what.