Five Funny Stories About Kids & Teachers
1. Don’t Get Dressed in the Dark
When Mr Newby was a beginning teacher, he hadn't long moved out of home. And to save on washing he often wore his jeans a few times. Now on this particular morning he'd gotten dressed in the dark. He pulled his jeans up, from off the floor, and hurried off for an early morning meeting.
From there he went straight to class. He'd just began his first lesson for the day when he felt something move, down near his ankle.
His heart chilled....'Spider!'
He slammed his foot down and flicked his leg in the hope to dislodge it.
But to his class’ amusement, and to his surprise, a pair of yesterday’s undies flew out from the bottom of his trousers and across the room.
3. ‘On Your Knees Peasant.’
‘On your knees peasant.’
The head teacher heard his new colleague’s voice booming through the wall.
He stiffened in alarm. Oh no! Don’t know much about him yet. Transferred. He sighed, he shook his head. I’ll have to check this out.
He bolted into the class next door. And out the front of the class was a student, on his hands and knees, bowing on the floor.
‘What’s going on!’ the head teacher bristled in alarm.
The new teacher smiled. ‘Oh, Jack insisted he was right, even though I told him he wasn't. He said he was so sure this time, that if he was wrong again, he’d get down on his hands and knees to apologize...
We checked. I said, 'On your knees peasant…’
5. Ground... Please Swallow Me.
I was talking to a colleague about her mother, who was also a teacher.
'She was the worst woman God ever put breath into. You went to this school so you must have heard of her. If you'd met her, you’d remember her for sure. She was an absolute monster.’
‘Awwh, I can’t believe you’d have a monster for a mother Kinderbella. You’re such a sweetie. The only woman I can remember being a monster was Mrs Killjoy. She beat me over the head with a ruler on the first day of class. She scared hell out of me.’
'That was her,’ she said. 'That was my mother.'
2. The Good Old Days (The 70's)
The District School Inspector had driven for hundreds of miles and this was one of the last country schools on his list. He knew they weren't expecting him until Monday but it shouldn't matter if he called in early...
Yet when he arrived, there was no one there.
He called out as he searched the musty two-classrooms, then the admin area. The only thing that broke the silence was the 'Tick, tick, tick,' of the ancient clock.
Have they gone an an excursion... Not likely. If that were the case the school should be locked. (Strike One.)
He noticed a large school bell in the playground, and just before he left, he rang it, hoping someone might appear.
And appear someone did.
Can you imagine the inspector's surprise when a barman, from the pub across the road, ambled over with two schooners. And went down to the back shed.
(Strike Two, Strike Three. You're out!)
4. The Best Teacher Ever.
It was a hot day. We were all tired. And the third kid (in a row) gave Mr Charlie the wrong answer to his maths question.
Mr Charlie put his head down and shook it. Then he raised his clenched fists above his head like he was about to tear his hair out.
'Look at what you kids are doing to me,' he cried in exasperation, arms raised for effect. Then he laughed.
And we all laughed too because Mr Charlie was totally bald. There was not one hair left to tear out.
He feigned mock surprise at his empty hands. And we all laughed again.
Our attention was fully focused on him. And he slipped some maths into us before we even realized.
Best teacher ever...
DISCLAIMER: Any similarities in the stories on this page, to people living or deceased, are purely co-incidental... After all, you never let the truth spoil a good story.
For more funny stories about kids and teachers go to the following links:
If you've never taught in a tough school, these funny stories may be a shock:
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