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I Don't Know What I Want

Updated: Jan 11, 2020

If you were going on an important journey and never coming back,

who would you take with you?

Would you plan out every single aspect and cram your journey with experiences afraid you might miss out on something, or would you just let it happen?

And would you set off in sturdy practical shoes, thongs, bare feet or even stilettos?

Would you take a GPS, a map or just assume you’ll eventually get there? Would you take the most direct route, the scenic way or the path less travelled?

What would be most important for you?

... And who is on your journey with you?

I know while some of us have the Edmund Hillary’s of the world with us, others will have people, who just by their nature, will make our journeys more difficult. And if that’s the case, as it is for many of us, sometimes we have to plan so these people don’t hijack our journeys completely.

I've learned we can encourage people, who might otherwise be disinterested in co-operating, if we can describe where we're going so vividly, they'll buy into it.

Families who have shared visions have a much greater chance of getting where they want to be than those who don’t, because each person can see there's something in it for them for co-operating.

Some of you may even think, ‘I’m not really sure where I want to go, what I want to be, what I want out of life. There are so many choices. I might make the wrong one. And I definitely can’t know what my children will want, when I don't even know what I want myself.’

But I would like you to consider, making no choice or no plan, is 'your choice.'

Are you heading where you want? Or are you sometimes struggling to stay afloat?

Likely, if you have no plan, you'll end up where fate, or others, determine you'll be. And if you don’t plan for your children, unfortunately so will they.

If you’re really unsure where to start, perhaps if you look at the things you don’t want for your children’s life, and plan to do the opposite.

For example: Would any of you choose for your children to end up in prison? Or die at the age of thirty six from a heart attack (as a dear friend of mine did.) Or end up living on the street? Or be morbidly obese, mentally ill or unemployable?

Even those who’ve been incarcerated, or experienced trauma,

usually want better for their children.

You'll likely have a whole list of things you don’t want, in both yours,

and your children’s future.

And if you know what they are... you can plan to avoid them?

I learned, if we break our lives into smaller chunks, such as health, education, financial situation, location, opportunities, interests, quality of life and relationships, we have starting points that we can build upon.

And if we start with one aspect at a time it’s manageable.

Are you getting closer to what you'd like your life to be like? Or are you getting further away from it.

For some ideas on planning go to the link:

And over coming weeks I'll be looking at the areas above in more detail starting with education.

Disclaimer: Best Parenting Advice provides some examples of what worked for me and you are welcome to use them as you see fit but you do so at your own risk. This site does not guarantee that information suggested will work in every instance or with every child.

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