Five Funny Stories About Kids and Teachers...
Don't Let the Truth Spoil a Good Story
2. The Good Old Days of the 70's.
(Or Three Strikes... You're Out.)
The District School Inspector drove for hundreds of miles and this was one of the last schools on his list. He knew they weren't expecting him until Monday but it shouldn't matter if he called in early...
However, when he arrived at the small country school, there was no one there.
He called out as he walked through the small two-room school, then the admin area. But besides the echo of his own voice, there was no sound.
He wondered if the two teachers had gone on an excursion. But that was unlikely. Because if that were the case the school should have been locked. (Strike One.)
He noticed a large school bell in the playground, and just before he left, he thought he'd try ringing it and hopefully someone might appear.
And appear he did.
Can you imagine the inspector's surprise when a barman, from the pub across the road, ambled over with two schooners and went down to the back shed.
The inspector followed the barman. There inside were the two teachers sitting, smoking cigarettes and playing cards. And the kids were nowhere to be seen.
It turns out they'd been given an extended 'lunchtime' at the local footy field with the two school captains.
(Strike Two, Strike Three. You're out!)
4. Ground... Please Swallow Me.
I was talking to a colleague about her mother, who was also a teacher.
'She was the worst woman God ever put breath into. You went to this school, you must have heard of her and if you met her you’d remember her for sure. She was an absolute monster.’
‘Awwh, I can’t believe you’d have a monster for a mother Kinderbella. You’re such a sweetie. The only woman I can remember being a monster was Mrs Killjoy. She beat me over the head with a ruler on the first day I was in her class. I was terrified of her.’
'That was her,’ she said. 'That was my mother.'
DISCLAIMER: Any similarities in the stories on this page, to people living or deceased, are purely co-incidental... After all, you never let the truth spoil a good story.
If you have a funny story you'd like to share about teaching kids (from either a child's or teacher's perspective) send it to the address below. Please ensure no real names are used. The best ones will be published:
1. ‘On Your Knees Peasant.’
‘On your knees peasant.’ The head teacher heard his colleague’s voice coming loud and clear through the wall.
He stiffened in alarm. That’s strange! I don’t know much about him yet. Maybe they do things differently where he came from. He sighed, his shoulders slumped and he headed towards the classroom next door, thinking, I’ll have to check this out.
But when he walked in, out the front of the class was a student, on his hands and knees, bowed on the floor.
‘What’s going on!’ the head teacher asked in alarm.
The teacher smiled. ‘Oh Jayston insisted he was right, even though I told him he was mistaken. He said he was so sure this time, that if he was wrong again, he’d get down on his hands and knees to apologize...
I said, 'On your knees peasant…’
3. Don’t Get Dressed in the Dark.
When Mr Newby was a beginning teacher, he hadn't long moved out of home. And to save on his washing he often wore his jeans a few times. Now on this particular morning he'd gotten dressed in the dark. He pulled his jeans up from off the floor and hurried off for an early morning meeting.
But later when he was teaching in class, he felt something near his ankle, move.
'Spider,' he thought. His heart chilled.
So he stamped his foot and flicked his leg in the hope to dislodge it.
But to his class’ amusement, and to his surprise, a pair of yesterday’s undies flew out from the bottom of his trousers and across the room.
5. The Best Teacher Ever.
It was a hot day. We were all tired. And the third kid (in a row) gave Mr Charlie the wrong answer to his maths question.
Mr Charlie put his head down and shook it. Then he raised his clenched fists above his head like he was about to tear his hair out.
'Look what you kids are doing to me,' he cried in exasperation, arms still raised for effect. Then he laughed.
And we all laughed too because Mr Charlie was totally bald. There was no hair left to tear out.
He feigned mock surprise at his empty hands. 'I've clearly been teaching too long.' He again raised his arms above his head in mock exasperation.
And we all laughed again.
Our attention was fully focused on him. And he slipped some maths into us before we even realized it.
Best teacher ever...
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